Doctors

I hate doctors. They're always so...clinical. You always have to sit in a room with loads of other ill people, like everyone's waiting for a train to Flu-ville. It wouldn't surprise me if I'm more ill now than when I went in.

I had to ask my parents who my GP was - as far as I was concerned my local GP was Silverstone.

What's with all the questions they ask you when you go in? Do I have any allergies? I swell up around latex? That's not an allergy, he said.

One of the questions was any past history of suicide. Any past history of suicide? Would I be standing here if the answer was yes? Think through your phrasing guys.

I wondered if doctors ever responded to the 'Dr, Dr' jokes, the ones we always said when we were kids. 'Dr, Dr, I feel like a hermaphrodite' I said. 'Go *uck yourself' he replied.

How rude.