Car Manufacturers

Who thinks up the names of cars? I mean, whoever decided the makes of Mercedes was clearly a bit stuck for ideas....'Erm..we'll call them A...Class...B Class and C Class, how's that?'

Perhaps they were having a bit of a jolly smoke at the time and thought,
'How about we call them the Mercedes Cannabis or the Mercedis Heroin?'
'You can't do that, that's too controversial!'
'Well how about we just label them by their drug classes?'
'That's a great idea....'

A, B, C, it's such a copout though. It's like Peugeot...'we'll call it the 305, the 106, the 207...'

One day there'll be a Peugeot 8004 or something.

I wonder if cars are meant to say something about you:
'I drive a Volkswagen Polo. Yes I love polo me'
'I drive a Volkswagen Golf. Yes I love a bit of golf.'
'I drive a Volkswagen Foxhunting. Because I like to wear tweed.'

I love it when manufacturers make their car names really exotic, like the Honda Jazz, the Honda Legend. Or the Ford Espace, the Ford Galaxy. Some of them just don't work though.
'I drive a Panda'
'Come right this way to prison please sir'

'I've got an Escort'
'I beg your pardon?'

Surely the least inventive is the Ford Ka though.
'I've got a car'
'What sort?'
'It's a Ka'
'I know that. What sort?'

Hours and hours of confusion.

Grandparents' Anniversary

i'll have an Hedex on the beach, a vodka and neurofen and an Aspirin and tonic...

What?

Well you said 'a cocktail of tablets'...

Grandparents anniversary. What year? Every year. 2nd Jan. 55th anniversary though, that's incredible. felt a bit too young and healthy. they're big fans of the footy though...i can just imagine them there with their scarves yelling at the tv (they're yelling, not the scarves).

Their house is full of bears so naturally they had to move a few thousand before we could actually go round for tea. seriously. it's like trying to find....i dunno, a very small bear in a house full of millions of bears...a little tricky.

Why is it everything tastes better in triangles? I got through endless sandwiches because they were in triangles. It's the same with toast, shortbread, cheese...I'm much more likely to eat it if it's in a triangle shape...am I right?

Picked Nan up to take her to the tea party so obviously had to drive amazingly well/safely/slowly. Compliments all round. She gave me £20 for no reason that I could see. Once again I am blessed.

New Year Brighton Style

Why is it that clubs cost millions more to go to on New Year than on any other night? Are they really much better at New Year? £25 it cost last night, £25!! I rarely want to spend more than a fiver. For £25 I want free champagne, presents, fireworks, attractive waitresses asking me if I want any more drinks...you know what I mean.

I shouldn't really complain - there was a random trapeze display in the club last night by some woman who looked she'd been round it a fair few times...if you know what I mean. Less Miss World, more Miss Carpet World. (She was good though, don't get me wrong).

Being designated taxi driver meant I was dosing up on Red Bull/Relentless/anything remotely sugary. There we were powering along the A27, bouncing off the ceiling/crash barrier...

Just kidding. 70mph all the way.

Well, maybe 71.

Being sober massively paid off this time though. Not only did I save money (aside from the something like 8.80per litre Red Bull), I actually made money. Apparently when you're wrecked on New Year's Eve you regularly drop tenners by the bar. Or maybe if you live in Brighton you have so much money that not all the notes fit in your wallet so you have to let some go.

On about five separate occasions I looked down and there would be a note. (banknote obviously, I'm not some sort of PostIt fiend). Didn't see them being dropped so I had no idea whose they were. I might put them to some kind of good cause. Either way I felt surprisingly lucky...

My wallet has forty pounds more in it than when I left last night. Now that's the kind of night out I like and a frankly fantastic start to the year. Long may it continue.